Making my Way

It has been 242 days since the woman of my life, Lakota Blue, died owing to the overwhelming effects of Metastatic Breast Cancer.

I was not ready for these particular flavors of grief. Such waves can distort you as a person and at the same time expose you — to yourself and other people. One death might equal many little deaths.

I struggle to accept this new reality fully — at my core more alone than I have ever been. My day job is punishing — at Amazon of all places. I keep it because that is what I have and cannot just ditch it as I would jobs when I was a younger more stupid man.

This loss of mine has led to learning via my “exposure.” I have addressed habits good and bad, taken stock of things and tried not to be grim to myself. I am making new art and have a new attitude. I went to the Picasso show at MOMA and while only a few rooms, it was what I needed. A targeted trip into New York.

I also record new music for Patriarchs in Black, 3 songs I have attended to for the new album.

Unida, all of them located in California, do their thing. I get the group texts even though I am not able to make the rehearsals or jam sessions, whatever it is they are up to.

It is 8:47 on Sunday morning. I have accepted a shift, VET as Amazon calls it in their jargon. Voluntary Employment. The workers call it Overtime.

Unida Tour

Just before the adventure begins: Unida 2022

I am hooking up WordPress on the phone. I want to be able to really capture these moments because it is unlike anything I have ever done, while being very similar.

This Saturday at a bit after 5 pm, I will get on a plane taking me out to California. I am going to be singing for a classic band from the #desertrock scene, Unida. I have been rehearsing since approximately April. It really has been a 24-7 affair. Today is Tuesday September 6th.